What goes around comes around !

Dear George:

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in the accident report form. I put "Poor Planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of the Jones building. When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later, were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the bricks.

You will note in the accident report form that my weight is 135 lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed in Section 3 of the accident report form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.

Fortunately, by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience. At approximately the same time however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight.

As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope. I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down to me. This explains the two broken legs.

This explains why I cited "poor planning" as the cause of the accident.

Sincerely yours,

The Bricklayer

Drywall Gone South !

So I was on a job and a couple a mugs stop by - see !

"Need a drywaller?"

"Well I got one."

"Yeah but we're cheaper!"

"Ok, ok so give me a bid."

This was a good size house - almost 5500 square feet - and we had a bid for almost $30 grand.

Well the mugs came up with a bid for $18,000 and it was too cheap to pass up. They had all the necessary insurance, licenses etc. tho nary a compadre uttered a word of ingles!

They seemed to start off ok but suddenly disappeared!

Phoning the mugs, I heard, "Hello, the voice mail box you have reached is full and can not accept messages - please try again."

Eventually we got the job done, but the delay took its toll. A month delay worked out to be worth about $12,500 in interest on the construction loan.

Moral of the story:
Low price isn't - necessarily !

Landscape Rip Off - My Money is Gone !

I hate to say it - but this one happened to my own mother!

Mom found a landscaper after visiting his nursery. Having an existing business, Mom figured this guy was legit. He came and looked at the property with grandiose ideas of a pond, a vineyard, a family orchard - a whole new shangra la!

Twenty grand for the whole project!

Knowing something was up, I asked to see the plan.

"Well he has a drawing and I'll get a copy of it," she said, having given him ten thousand dollars to start the job.

After a few improperly installed irrigation lines and dropping off about 20 plants (at about a $9.95 value each) which my Mom planted, he asked for the second $10,000.

By this time Mom got wise and refused. Needless to say he never showed up again and when he was summoned to court at small claims - he showed the judge pictures of work that we had done claiming it was his own!

Moral of the story -
Get it in writing - a full description of the work!
Get a plan - a scale plan with all the details noted!
Pay only a minimal deposit - wait for results before shelling out money!
Check for a valid contractor's license - a lot of landscapers don't have them.